Funeral gift etiquette from the heart

When you're informed that someone has died, your first impulse is to send a gift to the deceased’s family in their time of sorrow, but make sure you know and follow suitable funeral gift etiquette according to their culture. There is a multiplicity of gifts that you might consider sending to the anguished family that will ease their distress and send the message that your thoughts are with them in their time of hardship.

Food: Perhaps the most welcome gift during a time of mourning is that of food. Whether you have dinners delivered or drop by with a casserole, the message is that you are understanding of the family’s loss. However, be sensitive about intruding on the family’s time when taking the gift. A brief visit of about 15 minutes is appropriate to deliver the food and convey condolences. Proper funeral gift etiquette for food is to offer items that require little preparation, such as a sympathy gift basket or a comfort food gift basket. Even if you judge that many people will bring food, your bereavement gift basket will last of a number of weeks without being opened since all the items are shelf stable.

Flowers: The most general funeral gift is flowers. Before you send any, find out if there are certain conditions for memoral service flowers depending on the religious affiliation of the deceased. For example, Jewish funeral traditions don’t incorporate flowers while other gifts are considered more suitable. Others, such as Hindus or Muslims, don’t consider funeral flowers as acceptable, but the gesture may be seen as caring by certain groups. Funeral flowers for a Catholic, LDS or Buddhist funerals are proper and welcomed. Consult a florist if you have any doubts, they will be well versed in differenttraditions for funerals.

Gifts to Charity: Memorial gifts are a popular tradition that allows money that would normally be spent on expensive floral arrangements to be designated for a specific organization, charity or event. Normally, the family will make know a preferred charity in the funeral announcement and request donations in lieu of gifts. Don’t break funeral gift etiquette by sending flowers if the family has specially asked not to.

After the Funeral: Funeral gift etiquette also allows friends and family members to send a fruit and cheese gift basket in the days and years following a funeral. A sincere card or memento on the anniversary of the funeral sends the message that you think about about family members and remember their loss. Even following up with family members a few weeks after the funeral with a meal or a potted plant can have a positive affect on the grieving heart.

Funeral gift etiquette suggests that family members send a thank you card for the bereavement gift baskets or services they got during a time of mourning, don’t be offended if you don’t receive one at all or if it arrives several weeks or months after the funeral. When someone is dealing with grief, time can slip by hastily.


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